The Slow Drift of Entitlement

We will absolutely lie to ourselves, but not on purpose. We don’t set out to get off course; it’s a slow drift and the slow drift is certain unless there are navigational safeguards in place to stay the course.

We will practically always operate in ways that are in our best interests. Therefore, with no intentional safeguards, those interests will become our compass over time. Nothing wrong with that other than it is, by definition, selfish. Selfishness breeds entitlement. This is particularly problematic if/when we lead others.

Legitimate leadership is sacrificial. That is, unless you are leading for the benefit of those that are choosing to submit, then you are a positional leader, at best. Positional leaders have no lasting legacy as they inspire no depth of dedication. Others will follow only for as long as it is in their best interests (e.g. a paycheck, an opportunity), but they will not multiply the vision of the leader. They will not perpetuate the purpose of the cause.

Entitled leaders are making choices in their own best interests even when they are believing it’s in the best interests of the organization. They increasing isolate themselves from meaningful counsel and collaboration that might challenge the underlying selfishness of their motives and it’s all very gradual and typically subconscious.

Entitlement can be defeated and selfless, sacrificial leadership can be fostered but only on purpose. If the leader will intentionally choose to battle the drift, others will give their time and treasures to the efforts of the leader driven by the purity of the call.

Two techniques to defeat entitlement are continuous improvement and collaboration. They may not be the only two, but these two are powerful in defeating the drift.

  • Continuous Improvement – I have a friend who has a doctorate in leadership. He describes himself, even on this side of his PhD as  “a student of leadership.” His point is that anyone who is not continuously learning leadership is no longer legitimately leading. Learning is admission of incompletion; and that’s good. There is no finish line to the art of leadership and the humility that comes with that realization positions the soul to serve others and be open to collaboration.
  • Collaboration – Even gifted leaders have the gifts of a single leader. In other words, we are all contained by our uniqueness; there are others that are unique in different ways. The collaboration of gifts multiples the value and impact of the gifts within us. When we are willing to submit ourselves, even from a position of authority, the power of our influence is exponentially multiplied.

Be intentional as you lead your business, your community organization, your family, your small group or whatever other opportunities you have to impact and multiply. Always be improving; thus posturing your ego in such a way that collaboration invites the multiplying effect of collaboration.

The Lens of Grace (from Abundant and Free)

I was raised by an Army officer  and eventually became an Army officer myself. There are many good things about growing up or training in that environment. At the same time, there is a lens through which those so trained see people that can make life difficult. When the mission is critical, judgment of others can be, as well. There can be harsh, rigid assessment of people based on their performance and contribution to the mission.

After my time as an Army officer, I eventually went to law school, passed the bar, took the oath and for a season made a living standing in courtrooms arguing cases. As an advocate, I continually viewed people and their stories through my law knowledge filter. I applied that filter to things that led to the disposition of the question in the case as well as procedures compared to the rules of admission. If the opposing party tried to get inadmissible evidence into the record or question a witness in a way not allowed, I would object. It was part of my duty to my client.

Even though I no longer argue cases in a courtroom, I find myself sometimes thinking like an attorney. I don’t think the word “objection,” but often form a thought regarding something or someone I find “objectionable.”

In doing so, I make a case against another person in my mind. This is particularly true when I perceive the other person has a responsibility to behave a certain way.

The judgment I pronounce is a revelation of the lens through which I see people. I’ve discovered I turn that same lens on myself. I struggle to be satisfied with anything less than excellence, so I struggle to be satisfied. I compare my behaviors, performance, accomplishments and the evidence of my success to an external standard and make a case against myself.

“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things” (Romans 12:2).

The judgment I form against others is the standard for the judgment I form against myself. Where I compare them to expectations, I hold myself to those same expectations. Where I give grace, I am able to receive grace. I see people through a lens, and like it or not, that lens is the same for me.

“For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17)

Because of Jesus, we have a choice: We can labor under the yoke of the law or we can submit to the reins of the truth. Jesus replaced the law with the truth, because the law is a subsection of the truth. The truth is the broader reality. We no longer need the law because Jesus is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Grace is the lens through which we are invited to view the truth. We either see through Moses or through Jesus; therefore, we see ourselves either as guilty or forgiven and will see others as we see ourselves. If you want to know what you think of yourself, consider how you think of others.

From Abundant and Free; Seeing Life Through the Lens of Grace, now available on Amazon.com. 

Wisdom Requires Lower Gears

I love driving in the mountains as it requires different techniques than what become routine in the city. Routine driving amounts to gas, brake and steering. Going up and down mountains requires consideration of the brakes or they will get burned up. When ascending and descending, the gas is required to get up the inclines but the brakes will smoke and turn red if you ride them to slow down on the declines too much.

The solution is changing gears. You have to drop down to a lower gear to allow the engine to do the work. The lower gear cause the engine to turn faster and, in effect, lose some of its efficiency. When going down hill in low gear, the higher revolving engine slows the car without using the brake. Then, a shift back into high gear puts you in position to go up the next incline.

I was going up and down a mountain yesterday and thinking about the dynamics of what it takes. It seemed like a good picture for where I am in the broader context. I feel like I’m traversing windy roads that go up and down and the same old habits of brake and gas are not sufficient for navigating the course. I have to be skilled and dropping into a different gear.

As I turn fifty, I’m finding that less is more. As I hit challenges and circumstances, I’m learning not to just apply the gas and press the brakes. I’m learning to throttle back. Otherwise, my brakes start smoking and you can smell the friction.

Working with people requires emotional coasting. While they are working their stuff, I can’t make it my stuff. When their perspective and intentions don’t align with mine, I need to allow for lower gears to get me down the hill as things are worked out. Lower gears, in this case, means security in my identity that affords me the calm that comes with confidence. My emotions can’t take the ride that the road suggests; they have to be governed or I’ll burn up.

Less is more and God is a better driver than me. I’m learning how to trust Him with me and others differently. I don’t always get it right and I can tell when that is the case by smelling the friction of my emotions. When I am able to trust God with my circumstances and know that He is good and for me, I can release the need to speed up and slow down where I should be coasting and letting the engine do the work.

Concession is Not Belief

Our culture and traditions can lead us to believe things that aren’t true. We are conditioned by our surroundings and our surroundings can suggest we are entitled. We can believe, from our culture, traditions and surroundings, that we believe when we actually don’t.

Belief is more than acclimation. Belief is transformation. Belief will be evident in our exclamation.

1 John 4:15 tells us, “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.” Honestly, that seems pretty easy; just acknowledge and you are good to go. That bar seems so low that heaven will most certainly be overcrowded.

The idea that shows up as “acknowledges” in that verse may mean more than we think, however. That word can mean, “to agree with” and it can even mean “to concede.” Wow . . . is it possible that John was writing that if we’ll simply concede that Jesus is the Son of God, we are then God carriers? We are born again by concession? Concession is about the same as, “I give up; you win,” so the conceder can move on to another subject. I don’t think so.

Other meanings for that word include “to profess,” as in to profess yourself as a worshipper. Finally, that word by definition, can mean “to praise, celebrate.” Now we are on to something.

When our acknowledgement is more than a concussion, but a profession as a worshipper who praises and celebrates Jesus as the Son of God, then there is evidence that God lives in us and us in Him. That is evidence of new birth by accepting the sacrifice of Jesus.

Cultural Christianity where church attendance and polite concession is not evidence of our belief. Sold out, all in, life changing celebration, praise and worship of Jesus as Son of God is.

We can get fooled into thinking that we are Jesus followers by our suburban insulation and Sunday morning habits. In some ways, those that are in the depths of depravity are better off in that they cannot be fooled into believing they believe. Maybe that’s why God loves us so much that He tells us in Revelation 3:16 that we should either be hot or cold, but lukewarm will get us spit out. Hot is praising, worshipping and celebrating Jesus as the Son of God, cold isn’t self-deceived into thinking they might concede and lukewarm is an aberrant alternative that is deadly in its compromise.

Freedom is in the Flow of Authentic Life

My first year of law school, I had a contracts professor who was the most intimidating professor we “One-Ls” faced that initiation year.  He was a master at what is called the Socratic Method and would work a given subject and a person’s learning of it masterfully by asking one question on top of the other.

The questions he chose surgically peeled back your answer to examine the reason and logic that was used to reach the answer you offered.  Through his cross-examination, you would doubt things you swore to be true just minutes before.  That was the point:  Know the “why” of the conclusions to develop your thinking in order to best advocate the position you represent.

This professor would get most frustrated with students who didn’t want to delve as deeply as he was leading them.  He would rant when it appeared a student was attempting to skip the logical support to get to what they concluded was the rule of law.  The rant was typically something like, “You first-year law students are all the same, ‘The rule; just give me the rule.’  It’s all you think about!”

He was right, but not just about novice law students.  We all want rules to follow.  We want to know where the boundaries are so we can stay between the lines.  If we know what to do, we’ll do it and then we will be accepted or approved of based on our following the rules.  The rules and boundaries make it easier to gauge our performance.

Performance is effort under the law.  A life of grace liberates us to purpose.  Performance is reverse engineering our behavior to look like the thing we want to be.  Grace allows us to simply be it.  The Father desires children walking in purpose to establish His Kingdom, not servants performing for the sake of appearance or approval.  There’s no freedom in pretending or striving to “be”; freedom is realized in the flow of authentic life that happens when we agree with our identity and operate from it.

– From “Transforming the Prodigal Soul” available on Amazon at: https://scottprickett.com/scotts-book/

 

 

Satisfaction Allows for Multiplication and Prevents Fortification

John Eldredge wrote a great book called “Way of the Wild Heart” which details stages of development and how they inter-relate one to the other. For example, young men usually require satisfaction of what Eldredge calls a “cowboy” stage. This is a time where the young man seeks adventure to know inside of himself that he is capable. Once this question is answered, he doesn’t have to wonder if he has what it takes to fight and survive when faced with a battle to fight. He is able, through experience, to walk with confidence which eliminates insecure over-reactions.

Problems arise when those questions go unanswered yet we progress in life to positions of greater responsibility. We often progress into what Eldredge calls the “king” stage where there are positions of leadership and responsibility. We’ve likely all seen the effects of a “leader” who is insecure and “leads” with fear. They are not prepared to walk in the position they have been promoted into because they did not naturally satisfy the internal questions to prepare them.

I started practicing law as a second career and had to cycle back to the beginning; went from running a company generating significant revenues to sharing an office with two desks and two paralegals. So three of us with only two desks and I knew less than they did about how most everything worked. If they were both present and busy, I had nowhere to sit.

Nice big cup full of humility to drink from did me good. I’m thankful for that time. That time was necessary as a foundation for what is and is to come. If I had tried to self-promote or refused to walk through what was before me, the foundation would not have been as solid.

Fear and control are enemies of leadership. They are also fruit of insecurity. Security comes from within; not from promotions or the accumulation of stuff. When you know who you are and Who it is that promotes and provides, the temptation to manipulate for your protection is set aside. The understanding of His faithfulness comes by the experience of His provision in the risk of trusting Him. Life lived dependent on Him and not you allows for the questions to be settled from within.

Leaders promote others because they aren’t promoting themselves. Insecurity will prevent or limit the freedom necessary for the release of others as the temptation will be to fortify more than multiply. Insecure kings build and adorn their castles while secure kings release and multiply the Kingdom of the King through others.