Avoiding an Ambush

Years ago, when I was still single, I began to want more. I was living pretty fast, from one weekend to the next, and began to question where there might be more. I ducked into churches figuring that there would likely be some answers there.

At the time, I felt very inadequate by comparison to all the nice people who were there. After all, I figured, they were closer to figuring it out than I was since they were there before I arrived. My life and their lives had to be drastically different and I was sure they would disapprove of me if they knew more about me. I would sit on the back row and try to not engage with anyone, for fear of exposure.

At one of my visits to one of the churches, there was a powerful speaker and from what I could tell he was talking of things that were true. It felt like God was in it and the “more” that I was seeking was somewhere in or around this deal. Towards the end, with every head bowed and every eye closed, the speaker asked us to raise our hands if we thought or felt or decided something, although I truly don’t remember what that something was. In any case, I raised my hand from my seat in the back row.

The next thing I knew, there was somebody sitting next to me with a clipboard and a pen to get my information and ask me some questions. I was shocked at how efficiently they saw my hand that had been up for a few seconds and dispatched someone to close the deal, whatever the deal was. I felt tricked and ambushed and I never returned to that church.

Years later, what I know is that I am just as jacked up as the most confused seeker even though I’m there most weeks. I know that I speak and teach and minister and I am just as messed up as every regular attendee, seeker or critic. Whatever they are still figuring out, likely so am I as I still want to sit on the back row sometimes and just slip my hand up in the air without anyone converging on me with a clipboard.

We are all figuring it out and we don’t need to be tricked to take another step. We need to be loved. We need grace that displays itself as transparent honesty regarding our struggles and limitations. We need a knowing look of affirmation and encouragement more than we need our information captured. At least that’s what I need and I figure that I’m not alone.

Allowing for the Growing Whisper of Your Greatness

I saw the new Winston Churchill movie not too long ago and considered the perspective of greatness. He has statues of him, books about him, roads and buildings and towns and other stuff named after him. He is seen as a great leader in a pivotal time. The declaration he has received is mostly retrospective.

At the time when his greatness was unfolding he was crass and offensive and drank an awful lot. He was largely a mediocre politician leading up to WWII, it appeared, yet he was afforded an opportunity in an extraordinary intersection of time and circumstances. In the middle of his unfolding, he was criticized by others and battled the doubt born of insecurities. As soon as the war was over, despite his leadership in a time of victory, he was voted out of office.

Greatness about you can’t be declared by you, it can only be declared by others of you. That declaration likely won’t come in the middle of the story as your humanity will almost always be a distraction. The stuff about you that isn’t so great will scream at some while the whisper of greatness grows in a subtle and secondary manner.

The necessary ingredient for greatness is grace, then. You’ll need, first and foremost, to receive grace from the Source of grace. Jesus sees you as righteous by His sacrifice, even when the evidence against you is significant. You’ve got to receive it if you hope to step into the building roar of your greatness. You’ve got to like you even before your statue is built.

Receiving grace from the Source of grace affords you the chance to withstand the doubts within your soul as well as the accusations from the friends and enemies that articulate your flaws. Their insecurities will want company so they’ll attempt to call out yours. It’s OK; they don’t like themselves too much in those times and they need grace, too. Since you’re tapped into the Source, you’ll have grace to give.

Greatness is the material for a eulogy, not an auto-biography. You’ve got to wait on it. You’ve got to realize that you won’t realize it.

You are, in fact, designed for great and glorious things. You are fashioned to reign in life. The position of rule, however, is less not more. When you are positioned to receive grace, you are positioned to be declared great. Later.

 

 

Take the Fight to the Bullies

One of my first felony clients had been bullied in school and he finally retaliated. His reaction got him charged by the school resource officer and his parents filed counter-charges against the instigator prior to my involvement. The net result was that I was going to court against a prosecutor and a 30 year criminal defense attorney retained to represent the bully.

Remember, this was one of my first cases of this magnitude and I was still learning. Then, we came out swinging. I believe the prosecutor and seasoned attorney were shocked at the defense that we put on that day. Things went well for us.

The key to any success in that case and in most cases isn’t too magical. I was simply better prepared. The prosecutor had hundreds of cases, the older attorney of greater experience had more difficult cases. For me, this was one of a few and it was the biggest one I had. I had poured into the preparation of a defense. I was more ready than they were.

You can’t wait until you get to the trial to get ready. Preparedness comes morning by morning (Isaiah 50:4). Once the bullets start flying, it’s too late to fumble around in the confusion and try to get your armor on. Get suited up in the quiet before the storm and you never know when the storm is coming; but it always is.

First and foremost, day by day, seek the Truth. Within the Truth is the reality of your identity. When you work from the security of who you are, you stare down giants. Not out of arrogance that is puffed up to hide the insecurity of doubt, but in the confidence that God’s favor is given to His kids.

From the Truth and the security of who you are by His design, you will be unleashed into the passions of your life. You will increasingly be released to run like the thoroughbred you are intended to be.

I was anxious as I headed into court; not out of fear, but anticipation. I believed in what I was doing that day and knew that I was called to do it. I was walking in the purpose of my identity and two other lawyers were doing a job. They were better trial attorneys than me based on experience and maybe even ability. But the favor that comes through agreement with God’s plans and purposes overtakes and overcomes the hurdles that otherwise might prevail.

The Slow Drift of Entitlement

We will absolutely lie to ourselves, but not on purpose. We don’t set out to get off course; it’s a slow drift and the slow drift is certain unless there are navigational safeguards in place to stay the course.

We will practically always operate in ways that are in our best interests. Therefore, with no intentional safeguards, those interests will become our compass over time. Nothing wrong with that other than it is, by definition, selfish. Selfishness breeds entitlement. This is particularly problematic if/when we lead others.

Legitimate leadership is sacrificial. That is, unless you are leading for the benefit of those that are choosing to submit, then you are a positional leader, at best. Positional leaders have no lasting legacy as they inspire no depth of dedication. Others will follow only for as long as it is in their best interests (e.g. a paycheck, an opportunity), but they will not multiply the vision of the leader. They will not perpetuate the purpose of the cause.

Entitled leaders are making choices in their own best interests even when they are believing it’s in the best interests of the organization. They increasing isolate themselves from meaningful counsel and collaboration that might challenge the underlying selfishness of their motives and it’s all very gradual and typically subconscious.

Entitlement can be defeated and selfless, sacrificial leadership can be fostered but only on purpose. If the leader will intentionally choose to battle the drift, others will give their time and treasures to the efforts of the leader driven by the purity of the call.

Two techniques to defeat entitlement are continuous improvement and collaboration. They may not be the only two, but these two are powerful in defeating the drift.

  • Continuous Improvement – I have a friend who has a doctorate in leadership. He describes himself, even on this side of his PhD as  “a student of leadership.” His point is that anyone who is not continuously learning leadership is no longer legitimately leading. Learning is admission of incompletion; and that’s good. There is no finish line to the art of leadership and the humility that comes with that realization positions the soul to serve others and be open to collaboration.
  • Collaboration – Even gifted leaders have the gifts of a single leader. In other words, we are all contained by our uniqueness; there are others that are unique in different ways. The collaboration of gifts multiples the value and impact of the gifts within us. When we are willing to submit ourselves, even from a position of authority, the power of our influence is exponentially multiplied.

Be intentional as you lead your business, your community organization, your family, your small group or whatever other opportunities you have to impact and multiply. Always be improving; thus posturing your ego in such a way that collaboration invites the multiplying effect of collaboration.

Honor Makes a Way for Solutions to Disagreements

Last night, the Dallas Cowboys stood together. More accurately, they knelt together. They knelt together in a sign of protest against racism in the United States, and they did it before the National Anthem. As a reminder, that is what all the kneeling was about in the first place, although it has been largely forgotten in the politics and opinions.

In case you didn’t see it or hear about it they came out as a team, joined arms and knelt. Then they stood up. They knelt before the National Anthem ever began and they stood up during the national anthem.

All along, the objection to the protest has been that protestors should stand and respect the flag. Last night, they did. Yet, in an overnight poll in the Dallas Morning News, the initial opinions offered were that 54% of respondents felt “Cowboys should not have knelt at all.” This was a Dallas newspaper, mind you, so this is a biased sampling presumably in favor of what the Cowboys do. I don’t know what the sampling size was, but that result is disheartening.

This poll showed that for some, it was never about the flag in the first place. It was about being right. For some, they aren’t patriotic as much as they are just prejudiced. When you don’t want somebody that is different from you to say anything about their perception or experience based in those differences, you are protecting the status quo, not the traditions surrounding the flag.

We tend to like what we like and want what we want and will often find justifications to protect our preferences. Our preferences are rooted in our perspective and our perspective is limited to our experiences. Those experiences, in this nation, are vastly different. Experiences surrounding race and racism cannot be the same where the there are differences in race. It’s just not possible.

The opportunity going forward is honor. I’ve been a Dallas Cowboys fan for the past four decades, but my admiration of their collective voice last night isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about honor. They were able to show honor towards the flag while also projecting the voice of the perspective that was calling out. They were able to agree about disagreements that they had not all experienced. That’s what the flag stands for, in part; the freedom to be heard in an honorable way.

When 54% say there should be no disagreement at all, there is going to be disagreement. If and when the majority can agree that the experience of the minority is different from their own, then there can be solutions. Honor makes a way for solutions to disagreements.

Sacrificial Leadership Makes a Way for Trust

Several years ago, when facing a major decision regarding a move, my wife and I sought counsel. The counsel we got regarding the move changed the way we looked at marriage forever.

“Scott, what if this move was entirely for her benefit, would you be OK with that?” he asked.

“Julie, do you trust Scott?” was the question she got.

I had never thought about such a question prior to that. I was the one that worked to make a living for the family and pursued a career and she was staying home with the kids. How and why would it be entirely for her benefit? I needed to make money. I needed to move forward in my career. Yet, the truth of the question had a weight to it.

While I wasn’t initially willing to make this move “entirely for her benefit,” I was willing to try to change. As I thought and prayed, my prayers changed. We were going through a lot and the pressure of the challenges was shaping me internally. I remember walking through the park and blurting out a prayer, “God, this is hard, but I don’t want the difficultly to be in vain. Take my angst and allow them (Julie and the kids) to benefit from it so they will have it easier.” That was it.

It wasn’t whether or not I did everything perfectly, it was the intention behind it. Something switched inside of me and I went from a strategist trying to figure out what was best to asking God to take my offering and multiply it. It wasn’t about my plans, but their benefit.

Trust is foundational to relationship. It is imperative for submission. Submission seeks a sacrifice and it is a place of benefit. We all desire the protection and sacrifice of a legitimate lead. The first and primary place that is fostered can/should be with our father. If he modeled the role well, we are likely inclined towards a healthy trust. If not, we may be more self-protective and self-promoting to attempt to make a way for ourselves since that pivotal relationship didn’t make a way for us.

Do you want to be a trustworthy leader? Be sacrificial. It doesn’t mean that those that are in a position to benefit from your sacrifice get everything they want. It does mean that everything you want is driven with their interests being primary.

Her answer regarding trusting me was “yes,” by the way. Even before my intentions were entirely for her benefit. While God was working stuff out in me, He was on display in her.