The older that I get, the more challenging things can be. After 52 years, I am less confident in my correctness than ever before, even when I am right. I am increasingly decreasing through humility imposed as much as humility chosen. “Adulting” is no joke.
In my youth, zeal and ignorance kept me from fear. I was too young to know better and that’s not entirely good nor entirely bad; it just is. In fact, having the perspective of a child is ultimately the goal.
Now, I’m a professional Christian. I write things and say things and organize things that center around Jesus because I believe that everyone can benefit from what He is offering. I really do believe . . . and I doubt. I really am passionate . . . and I get weary. I really do want to help people . . . and I get hurt by them. I really do love people . . . and they wear me out. I really do trust God . . . and I’m afraid He won’t come through sometimes.
That list of paradoxical perspectives, feelings, experiences and thoughts could likely go on for quite some time. The uncertainty of me doesn’t change Him. The absoluteness of Him invites that uncertainty of me time and again. He remains who He has always been and invites me and my fluidity to his foundation. In that place, when I seek Him and find Him, there is a restoration and re-filling of contentment, peace, joy and peace.
His grace never gets tired of my agitation. His grace calls to me to step towards the one and eternal solution. The only thing that was ever designed or intended to be everything we need is, thankfully, also the most consistent and never ending thing we can ever imagine. In fact, it is beyond our imagination.
The only thing, place, person or feeling that fixes everything is the love of God. Only when I spend time in pursuit of the first and foremost need do the second and inferior other things take their proper place. Only in the security of relationship to “Abba” or Father God, even “Daddy” God, do my insecurity, inferior logic, busy mindedness, hurt, fear and other distractions fade to insignificant.
For some reason, and unfortunately, I’m too quick to go back to the other stuff once it starts flying at me. Then I am reminded of the open invitation to sit quietly with Him. He approves of me. He likes me. He loves me. He feels the exact same way about you . . . Just ask HIm. He’ll remind you.