There is more but the more costs us the former. We can’t stay where we are and get to the better place. We have to choose the journey that results in the new glory. If we hang out in the old, we settle.
I’ve written about the cost of intimacy and giving emotions a voice, but why? Because otherwise we settle, that’s why. We accept the compromise of being good enough. We exchange the freedom available in God’s design for the performance of being better than some others.
Individually, we are usually able to self-discipline ourselves into “good person” territory. We can never really know who we are when we are managing things we shouldn’t be or do. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free; not for performance management. There is identity and destiny within us that comes out through Him as part of our design, not our discipline.
Similarly, in marriage, we are able to be a good and acceptable couple. We can accept the limitations of our efforts that move us towards good or we can step into the design. The design is oneness, as the two are intended to become one. That’s a supernatural design and requires a supernatural manifestation. We can’t get there by being better.
Individually, the cost of walking in freedom is transparency. We have to be willing to drop the veil, confess things to one another and receive the healing of James 5:16. We allow Him to transform our soul when we exchange our flaws but we can’t redeem something we won’t possess. We own it to turn it in for better.
In marriage, the cost of walking in oneness is intimacy. Intimacy is raw and real depth of emotions that supersede the layers of courtesy that come with being good. It’s not for the sake of the emotional exercise, it’s for the exchange which allows Him to produce in the two of us that thing He intended. It’s for Him to make us one.
Christianity isn’t simply about dying and going to heaven. It’s also not an automatic realization of God’s promises without a process of maturity. We can choose increasing manifestation of Him in us individually and as one with our spouse or settle for churchy enough. The cost to get from glory to glory is typically discomfort, at a minimum.
If we’ll go “there” with our faults, we can be free from them. If we’ll go “there” with emotions, we can don’t have to be separated by them. As a son, it really is possible to appropriate freedom. As a couple, it really is possible to appropriate oneness. Or is good enough, good enough?