The discipline of going in order and avoiding the trap of jumping ahead towards the reward is contingent on discipline. Discipline is contingent on security. If we are scrambling from an insecure position based in a faulty identity or inaccurate inventory of our gifts and abilities, we’ll try to take short cuts to reach the reward prior to the preparation of our character. Recently, I’ve been unpacking a map of successive steps towards destiny with the first step of consecration being covered last.
Once we enjoy the maturity that comes with knowing who we are from the inside out, we begin to work that truth out from the core to the surface. Our identity is spoken into our spirit but the filter is our imperfect soul (mind, will and emotions). The working out of our salvation cannot take place in the solitude of consecration, we need companionship to identify the blind spots of our soul.
Marriage is the epitome of companionship and the prime example of how and why we need to work things out within ourselves. We can know that we are sons and daughters of God all we want, but the unredeemed parts of our soul that need maturing and daily death will be on display in the close proximity of companionship. When we share life with another, conflict and the need to work through those conflicts towards resolution are part of the plan.
Marriage was never intended to be a Hallmark card. It was intended to put the full nature of God on display. Any part of us that supersedes any part of Him in us has to go. What better way to get from here to there towards less of us and more of Him than the humility and selflessness that’s necessary for intimate companionship?
Every part of our soul that wants to self-protect, self-provide and self-promote will be exposed in the practical realities of living close to another. We will have to choose to either act like our identity or maintain our place as orphans. We will have to choose to either give in to fears, doubts and lies that originate within ourselves or trust the Truth of who we are at the risk of pain or rejection.
It’s that process of working out our salvation that prepares us to continue on in our quest for destiny. Without the type of methodical perseverance which maintains relationship when it hurts, we will never allow our character to come in line with our identity. We’ll jump around from association to association and the only constant will be the immature orphan that we foster within ourselves.