Humbled. Thankful. In Awe.

I began a Quest in 2008 which continues today. There have been many developments and challenges in the past five years but through every twist and turn, the advance continues. I am not the same and the change is not of me. The faithfulness of God is evident in my circumstances as well as in my heart. I am thankful.

When I got on the bus with 22 other men and a staff to facilitate our pursuit, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had been going to church and seeking a closer relationship with God and my chase was sincere. There had been massive movement in my spiritual development to that point so how could I have known that we were about to press the gas?

I encountered God in a unique way that week in 2008 and have not been the same since then. I also watched men walk in the authority of sons with grace and love as well as with boldness and strength. There was nothing effeminate about the way these Christian men walked with each other as they served their King. The way that they walked in their identity awakened something in me that gave me permission to be the man who I knew I was called to be but was afraid to in the context of church.

When we got on the bus to come home after almost six days away, the man who led us stood at the door of the bus to affirm us with a masculine, affirming hug. He was putting his guys, the guys he had poured out for and into, on the bus as he knew that the bus led us back to the battlefield.

I took my seat on the bus next to a man named Mark who I had been on the journey with as we sought the heart of God together. Mark told me, “I see you doing that; there is a clear picture in my mind of the day when you will be putting men on the bus just like Coach just did for us.”

Yesterday I stood at the door of that same bus in that same spot and put a group of men on the bus who I had battled for and with to walk with them into places they had never been before. It was an honor to lead those men and it is humbling to consider that the vision and word that day in 2008 set in motion a process of transformation leading to a point where the King of Kings would trust me with the hearts of men. I wept when I sat on the bus and realized the work within me that my Father has been doing.

The vision didn’t set me on a mission to reach that goal. The experience had set me on a mission to pursue deeper relationship with the One that gives us only good things. The result was a changed heart which is content without the leadership position because He affirmed me. Contentment is the posture for receiving as well as for leading.

Humbled. Thankful. In awe.

Thank you, Coach.

Thank You, Dad.

3 thoughts on “Humbled. Thankful. In Awe.

  1. Well said.

    People always say that a journey begins with one step…and that is true. But the first step, although monumental, is not as courageous as each step taken thereafter to pursue your Heavenly Father. Each step you’ve taken has shown God’s love, grace, and evident hand on your life.

    It’s a blessing to call you friend.


  2. Great reminder that Quest is life-long. Thanks for putting me on the bus in 2016. It has been a fabulous walk so far. So much difference between knowing and reading about God and walking with God and and hearing his voice direct you.

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