The two shall become one. Once we are married, it isn’t me and her, it’s us. It isn’t need vs. need, want vs. want, it is submission; one to the other. With mutual submission, there is not place for offense to take root turning into a stronghold of destruction.
It isn’t our nature to die to our selfishness and support another. We find the Depth and Truth of the potential for sacrifice within us only when exposed to the Glory of Jesus. In Him, by contrast to His presence, we recognize our smallness and our previous perspective of inflated images of self are put in proper posture at His feet.
From the position of reverence, our hearts are conditioned to choose submission one to the other. Without that experience to soften and transform our selfish hearts, we are left to working hard to serve the other from a flesh that fails. Without His presence, we carry the burden of service in our own strength and limited to our best efforts.
With fresh reminders of who we are created to be coming by fresh experience with the Creator Himself, we are equipped to walk in the identity which He intended. From that identity, the evidence of His presence will naturally flow in our choices and behaviors. It will actually be evidence of Him on display in us, not us trying to look like what we think He wants us to look like.
When a man and a woman both do that, the result is the full nature of a God who created them both in His image displayed as evidence of his Glory. He is the Originator of the characteristics of both man and woman so with both man and woman submitted as One to the other, the evidence of Him in us is undeniable.
The submission, remember, is only out of the reverence to a God that is relational and intimate. When we claim to know Him but our hearts are hard towards submission apart from Him, then there has to be a question of His Lordship in our lives. Hearts that are transformed are evidence of hearts that know.