Ever have one of those days where you are questioning your calling? Questioning why in the world you even do what you do? One or two things go wrong and the next thing you know, you are entertaining all kinds of lies that come in the form of attacks on your competence and purpose?
I wasn’t completely off the tracks quite that far this morning, but I was struggling a little after I was not able to help a client that I really thought I could help more than I did. To be truthful, I got a little cocky and ran head first into situation that I shouldn’t have. The results weren’t that bad and it’s nothing that can’t be undone, but I was still engaged in beating myself up a little bit when I got jerked into the present by a crying mother and a little girl.
The mom had some problems with her driving record the license status and was facing related charges that, if convicted, had a mandatory ten days in jail. When I met with her, she had her daughter and we talked about the possibilities. She was done . . . completely worn out by the effort and the failures. Her tears flowed generously and her sweet, angelic little daughter reached up assuredly with comfort and compassion. I cried, too.
Then, we re-grouped, said a prayer together and went into court. Calm and Hope rose following our prayer and the mood started to shift. When the smoke cleared, the most serious of her charges was reduced and she walked out of the courtroom with some fines but no jail time.
This was a victory. A victory against despair and against hopelessness. A victory against the scars that might have come in the heart and soul of that little girl if there had been the difficult conversation of where mommy will be for the next “x” number of days. A victory against doubt of the very existence of or interest from a God she had been crying out to but the circumstances never quite gave way to the Hope.
For me, the victory was over the lies regarding my ability to make a difference for and with people. I’m not saying that I did anything legally significant for this little family, but I am saying that I was there to walk through something with them. I was an advocate for the hurting when they needed one and that is a pleasure and an honor. That is why I do what I do and even when I mess up something sometimes, like we are all destined to do, when I can advocate because I have been Advocated for, it’s a good day.